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From: Stephen Hayes
To: All
Date: 2004-03-12 05:28:08
Subject: Re: 3,000 year family tree?!

* Forwarded (from: GEN_BRITAIN) by Stephen Hayes using timEd/2 1.10.y2k.
* Originally from Roy Stockdill (8:8/2002) to All.
* Original dated: Thu Mar 11, 05:12

From: roy{at}stockdill.com ("Roy Stockdill")

> From:          Don Moody <don{at}hyperpeople.demon.co.uk>

> There's a lot more on Roman stonework too. Including the marriage of a 
> Syrian bloke to a British girl - recorded in Hadrian's Wall.<

It is just after lunchtime on a lovely sunny afternoon in June in the
year AD122.aTwo stone carvers lie resting with their heads against 
the base of Hadrian`s Wall, alternately taking swigs from a bottle of 
Roman wine, which they pass back and forth between them, and munching 
bread and cheese from a goatskin bag. They have worked especially 
hard that morning and the Roman foreman in charge of their section of 
the wall has sent down a couple of bottles of left-overs from the 
Chief Centurion`s drunken orgy last night to show his appreciation. 
They are discussing a recent missive from the Chief Centurion, in 
which he points out that the building of the wall is falling behind 
schedule and the Emperor Hadrian has threatened that if it isn`t 
finished by the time of his next visit to Britain he will have the 
entire workforce and their families flogged, then deported to Rome 
and sold into slavery or fed to the lions. 

Carver 1: "Not a bad bloke, really, that foreman, Marcus 
wots-is-name." 

Carver 2: "S`pose not, for a Roman. Nice drop o' booze 'e sent us, 
anyway." 

Carver 1: "Ere, wot about that Chief Centurion, though, Julius 
thingummybob. Right miserable sod, 'e is." 

Carver 2: "Yer, real nasty piece of work, that one. Do ya know, he 
'ad my mate flogged last week just for fergettin' to take his bet on 
the Lions v. Christians match in Rome to the bookie's."

Carver 1: "Still, wot can yer expect? 'E's from Syria, wherever 
that is." 

Carver 2: "It's down south somewhere, near Londonium."

Carver 1: "Nah, that's Surrey!" 

Carver 2: "Oh, yer. Well, I thowt 'e 'ad a funny suntan." 

Carver 1: "Tell yer wot, let's 'ave a bit of a laugh with 'im!" 

Carver 2: "Ow d'yer mean, like?" 

Carver 1: "Well, yer know 'e's keen on that waitress in the Roman 
officers' canteen?" 

Carver 2: "Wot, that Celtic bit with the big wotsits and bad breath?" 

Carver 1: "Yer, that's 'er. Well, 'e's potty about 'er but she can't 
stand the sight of 'im. Always telling 'im to p - - - off and take'is 
mucky 'ands off 'er breadarolls, she is." 

Carver 2: "So wot d'yer reckon we should do, then?" 

Carver 1: "Tell yer wot, 'is wife thinks there's summat funny goin' 
on between 'em, so why don't we carve on the wall 'ere that 'e's 
wedded that Celtic waitress. That'll really land 'im in the soup with 
'is old woman!" 

Carver 2: "Smashin' idea! That'll teach the bugger!"
 
The two carvers, by now slightly inebriated from the effects of the
wine and the hot sun, bend eagerly to their work and begin to chip 
away at the wall. After an hour or so, it bears the impressive 
announcement of the marriage of Julius Maximus, Chief Centurion of 
the Roman Army of the North, to Miss Bouddica Ug, only daughter of 
Oggy Ug, unemployed mole-catcher of this parish. The carvers, well 
pleased with their little joke at their tormentor's expense, pack 
their chisels and steal quietly away, staggering slightly as they go.

And the moral of this tale, folks, is that you can't always trust
even primary sources!

Roy Stockdill
Web page of the Guild of One-Name Studies:- www.one-name.org
Newbies' Guide to Genealogy & Family History:- www.genuki.org.uk/gs/Newbie.html

"It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of
people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean
advantage of them." 

- P. G. Wodehouse

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