A baby harp seal walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "What will you have, baby harp seal?"
and the baby harp seal says, "Anything but Canadian Club on the rocks."


A ham sandwich walks into a bar, orders a drink and the bartender
says, "No, we don't serve food here."


A termite walks into a bar and says to the manager
"Is the bar tender here ?"


Two guys walk into a bar.  You would have thought the second guy would
have seen it.


A giraffe walks into a bar.  The bartender says, go outside, the
drinks are on the house.


Two giraffes walk into a bar.  The bartender asks, "What'll you have?"
and they reply, "Give us two tall ones."


A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, Hey, why the long
face?


  Two gay guys get in a fight in a bar.  They go outside to exchange
blows.


A giraffe walks into a bar, and says, "The high balls are on me."


  Rene Descartes walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey, would
you like a drink?"
  Descartes replies "I think not.", and promptly vanishes.


  Two Hundred Oklahoma federal workers walk into a bar, and the
bartender asks:
  "Hey, what can I get you?"
  ...and the federal workers shout, "run a tab, we're here to get
blasted!"


  Geraldo Riviera walks into a [Canadian] bar and asks the bartender:
"Could I have two loonies for a $2 bill?"


  Vincent Van Gogh walks into a bar.  Bartender says, "It's happy
hour...
what can I get you?"
And Vincent says "Give me a rye and lend me your ear."


   J.F.K and Bobby walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What'll
it be?"
...and J.F.K says, "Give us a couple of shooters."
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