She will always be beautiful and cheerful.  She could marry a
    movie star, but wants only you.
She will have hair that never needs curlers or beauty shops.
Her beauty won't run in a rainstorm.
She will never be sick...just allergic to jewelry and fur coats.
She will insist that moving the furniture by herself is good for
    her figure.
She will be an expert in cooking, cleaning house, fixing the car
    or TV, painting the house, and keeping quiet.
Her favorite hobbies will be mowing the lawn and shoveling
    snow (when necessary).
She will hate charge cards.
Her favorite expression will be, "What can I do for you, Dear?"
She will think you have Einstein's brain but look like Mr.
    America.
She will wish you would go out with the boys so she could get
    some sewing done.
She will love you because you're so sexy.

What he gets:

She speaks 140 words a minute, with gusts up to 180.
She was once a model for a totem pole.
She is a light eater...as soon as it gets light, she starts
    eating.
Where there's smoke, there she is...cooking.
She lets you know you only have two faults...everything you say
    and everything you do.
No matter what she does with it, her hair looks like an
    explosion in a steel wool factory.
If you get lost, open your wallet...she'll find you.
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